


i put on the crown of clowns

by isadorator



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Explicit Language, Foreshadowing, Gap Filler, Gen, Ladystuck, Other, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pesterlog, References to Suicide, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-23 03:45:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/617724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isadorator/pseuds/isadorator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ms. Abdicated Empress-to-be has a denizen to find and quadrants to keep free.</p><p>It's still up in the air if Vriska Serket: Girl Disaster can actually help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i put on the crown of clowns

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pelides](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pelides/gifts).



> I'd like to thank the Ladystuck mods for being patient with me finishing this. Here's the prompt I filled, since it features my secret pale OTP. ;D
> 
>  
> 
> _Feferi Peixes/Vriska Serket_
> 
>  
> 
> _Since I feel it gets overlooked a lot, I'd really like to see any kind of elaboration of the relationship between these two, in either flushed or pale quadrant, or just as friends. It's up to you how you tackle it really since I'm not all that bothered about plot, but maybe it would be fun for them to go treasure hunting together, or some other generally light-hearted shenanigans. u w u_

FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 214 HOURS FROM NOW opened memo on board TEAM ADORABLOODTHIRSTY.

FCG: IF ALL OF YOU CAN STOP FONDLING YOUR SHAME GLOBES FOR FIVE MINUTES, I'D LIKE TO ADDRESS AN ISSUE THAT'S ABOUT TO TEAR THEM FROM YOUR SWEATY, STICKY PALMS AND FEED IT TO YOU.  
FCG: ALTHOUGH SOME OF YOU SICK BASTARDS MIGHT ENJOY THAT.  
FCG: WAIT.  
FCG prebanned PCT from responding to memo.  
FCG prebanned CCT from responding to memo.  
FCG prebanned FCT from responding to memo.  
FCG: OKAY. NOW WE'RE READY TO TALK.  
FCG: ACTUALLY, NOW I'M READY TO TALK AND EVERYONE ELSE CAN SHUT THE HELL UP, GET A FUCKING PEN, AND TAKE NOTE.  
FCG: WE ARE LITERALLY DAYS AWAY FROM THE FINAL BATTLE.  
FCG: A BATTLE WHICH WILL DETERMINE NOT ONLY THE FATE OF OUR LIVES AND, BY EXTENSION, THE CONTINUED EXISTENCE OUR RACE, BUT THE FATE OF THE UNIVERSE ITSELF.  
FCG: A UNIVERSE KANAYA AND I ARE ALREADY GOING OUT AND BREEDING THROUGH LAUGHABLY OVERCOMPLICATED SCIENCE TO GO LIVE IN AFTER WE WIN.  
FCG: YEAH.  
FCG: HAVE TO SAY I DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING.  
PAST gallowsCalibrator [PGC] 338 HOURS AGO responded to memo.  
PGC: H3H3H3H3H3  
FCG banned PGC from responding to memo.  
FCG: AS I WAS SAYING.  
FCG: I'VE NOTICED THAT DESPITE THE PRESSING IMPORTANCE OF THIS BATTLE  
FCG: HALF OF YOU *GENIUSES* OUT THERE HAVEN'T EVEN FOUND OUT WHERE YOUR DENIZENS SLEEP YET, LET ALONE GOTTEN YOUR SORRY, DISEASE-RIDDLED CARCASSES OVER TO THEIR LAIRS LONG ENOUGH TO KILL THEM.  
FCG: I'D LIKE ANSWERS ONLY FROM THE FESTERING BOILS INFECTING MY PART OF THE TIMELINE.  
FCG: WHAT  
FCG: IS  
FCG: THE  
FCG: FUCKING  
FCG: HOLD UP??????????????  
Current cuttlefishCuller [CCC] responded RIGHT NOW to memo.  
CCC: Oh good, t)(is one is still open! 38)  
CCC: If anyone seaing t)(is is interested, I could use some )(elp with my side quests.  
FCG banned CCC from responding to memo.  
FCG: THIS ISN'T THE TIME OR PLACE FOR WANT ADS.  
FCG: SERIOUSLY, WHAT DID I JUST SAY?  
FCG: AM I SHOUTING INTO AN INCONCEIVABLY ENORMOUS VOID?? A VOID MADE OF THE COLLECTIVE DUMBASSERY PERMEATING THE SKULLS OF OUR SPECIES' LAST HOPE OF SURVIVAL???  
FCG: NO NEED TO VOICE YOUR OPINION, ANYONE WITH AN OUNCE OF WIT LEFT CLINGING TO SIDES OF THEIR THINK PANS - AKA ME - KNOWS THAT THE ANSWER IS A BITTER AND RELUCTANT YES.  
FCG: TROLL WILL SMITH WOULD BE ASHAMED TO SEE THIS.

Wow, glubbing _rude_.

You are Feferi Peixes and you close the chat window before you accidentally read more of Karkat's inane rambling. Seriously, what is that guy's DEAL?? He should lighten up a little. Go with the flow and find a bubblier outlook on life. Like yourself!

You decide to stop contemplating sure-fire ways Karkat could improve his crabby attitude and start paying attention to your own situation.

Which is a big load of NOTHING. You've been neglecting your land for the past couple of weeks to climb to the top of your echeladder and beat down underlings with Sollux. You don't regret it because he's a pretty cool troll to hang around with. On the other hand, there's only so much time you can spend with a person before you start platonically planning ways to drown them. 

You were looking forward to being alone for a while, but... you've been floundering with this one quest for the last couple of hours. You're _supposed_ to be using your lifey thing to grow moss, on a certain wall, inside a broken glass temple. It's _supposed_ to reveal the name of your denizen to you, since your snake consorts' accents are impossible to understand. But it's really, REALLY hard and you're absolutely sick to DEATH of watching plants grow. You would give anything to have another troll around to help you brainstorm. At least they would be stewing in misery alongside yourself.

Exasperated, you decide this is a good opportunity to get your royal blood pumping and cartwheel out of the temple for a break. Sixteen of them, plus four quick back flips, have you out the entrance and under the swirling lights of your land.

Between the loops, you can see Skaia rising above your fishbowl palace. From here, the other lands look like a string of multihued pearls hanging across the sky. You glance at the horizon and admire the rolling meadows covered in the greenest grass you've ever seen. Delicate crystal flowers poke up between the blades, dotting the expanse with colour, while the sturdier vinetrees grow more sparsely, but just as brightly. 

You never spent much time on dry land before, so your opinion is a little skewed, but you think everything about LODAG is pretty and gorgeous and perfect. Good game, best land.

You crouch down before flopping across the ground like a beached whale. It's nice, feeling the warmth of a non-burning light on your skin. You suppose if you had Kanaya's tolerance for your old sun, you would have been like her, up at all hours of the day and having tons of exciting adventures.

Right now, your own adventures will take a backseat to a quick nap on the fresh-smelling turf. You trust Gl’bgloybsprite to keep your enemies away from you while you sleep, like your lusus always does.

You sigh happily and close your eyes, listening to the wind rusting millions of blades of grass.

* * *

"Hey, Fefeeeeeeeeeriiiiiiii!"

You wake up with a start. A troll girl wearing an outrageous orange outfit is standing over you, smirking and giving you the once over. She nimbly steps back when you sit up and salutes you mockingly in greeting. Alarmed, you stand up into a fighting stance as quickly as possible, ignoring the dirt on your clothes to summon your trident.

"How the glub did you get past my lusus?" you squeak, then cough. With how bad you are at recovering from being caught off balance, you're lucky that the Empress never sent laughsassins your way. Rumour has it she preferred to kill upstart heiresses herself. But you guess she's dead now, just like everyone else who didn't make it into Sgrub.

"Ooooooooh, I just got lucky," she says coyly, rolling blue dice between her fingers. "Now, why don't you put your fancy fork down? I ain't gonna help you if you're going to try poking holes in me."

Wait, dice?

"Vriska?" you ask, relaxing your guard slightly. You've heard enough from Eridan about his ex-kismesis to recognize physical features that he complained about. Long, thick hair, frameless glasses, an eye with seven pupils, mismatched horns, and a confident smile. She's almost a head taller than you and much thinner as well, though most land dwellers usually are.

The most surprising thing about her appearance is not the lack of an eye patch or the robot arm she's supposed to have. It's the thin blue wings you didn't notice she had until she unfurled them behind her. The pattern on them matches her eyes and the colour is probably the same as her blood. The wings twitch slightly in the breeze, releasing a tiny amount of dust that sparkles in Skaia's light.

"Wow, can you FLY with those?" Your eyes are bright with excitement as you crane your neck for a better look. Vriska obliges by turning to the side, lazily flapping her wings and preening under your attention.

"Of course I am! And of course I can! What kind of lame god can't even fly?" she says, buffing her claws against her shirt in feigned nonchalance. You pause your appreciation of her wings to stare at her, shocked. Vriska, smug as the meowbeast who caught the dragonlet, rests a hand on her hip and flicks her hair back. "Oh, you didn't know? I can believe it! I only reached god tier a few hours ago, no thanks to that spineless wuss Tavros. And I'm the first one who got it! I doubt anyone else will ever get it as fast as me. I _am_ the best after all!"

Even though you're very impressed, you aren't going to take that kind of trash talk lying down. Here's a chance to finally relieve your boredom. You smile sharply in anticipation, then clear your throat to get her attention.

"Well, Vriska, if you really are the best, than even a land glubber like you can keep up with me, right?"

"LAAAAAAAAND GLUBBER?!" You've never heard someone so scandalized in their life. "I am NOT a LAND GLUBBER - I mean, lubber - WHATEVER, I'm not that, I'm a bloodthirsty pirate!" she screeches. You laugh and then point back to the temple.

"You can _prove_ it by helping me with my quests! That's why you're here, right?" you ask and Vriska nods sullenly, still feeling the sting of your sick burn. Aw well, she'll get over it. You clap your hands together in excitement and then grab her wrist to pull her over. "C'mon, this way!"

She resists and continues pouting, but you're much, much stronger than she is, even if she managed to make it to god tier.

"I don't know why I should still help a pretty little princess who doesn't even know a good thing when she sees it," Vriska mutters darkly. You tighten your grip on her hands and feel a deep sense of satisfaction when she winces.

"You saw what I wrote on the memo, right? That's how you knew to come here. It would be wrong not to help someone if you can. It's just common sense!" you say, happier than you've been for a while. You were getting tired of hanging around stupid boys all the time.

"No, it's not! If a girl's too weak to do things by herself, she should save some dignity and just kill herself before anyone else has to deal with her loser losey losiness!!"

You growl and turn around. Vriska is surprised enough to actually take a step back from you.

"Are you talking about ME??" you yell. She shakes her head rapidly, eyes wide. "Good! Because then I don't have to teach you a VERY VIOLENT lesson! Everyone deserves to be happy and healthy and alive, whether they like it or not!! If Alternia was still around for me to run it, I would be teaching it to everyone else too!!" you finish, breathing hard by the end of your little speech.

Vriska has a peculiar look on her face. You huff, annoyed, and turn your attention back to the glubbing wall you were trying to figure out for _hours_. After a long moment, she walks up beside you, more subdued than before. It's a good look on her.

Wow, that was a really retarded thought. You scrub it from your think pan immediately.

"So," she begins, hesitant. "Uh, what's up with this wall?"

"There's some information written on it that I need. Once I master my powers enough, I'll be able to read it and swim my way over to the next quest," you answer. You sigh and then bump your forehead against the cool glass. "Only it's taking me forever and I'm going stir-crazy trying to figure it out!"

Vriska hums in thought and crosses her arms, narrowing her eyes at the inscription on the wall. Then she smiles, her confidence back in full force.

" _I_ can read it just fiiiiiiiine," she drawls. Feelings of relief and excitement bubble up inside you and quickly grab her shoulders, turning her to face you.

"WHAT DOES IT SAY??" you shout in her face. She's not phased at all this time and shuffles around until she can get a better view of the wall.

"'They wait for she who would shatter barriers to gather the forgotten pieces. They wait for she who would challenge Hemera and banish the poison from the Land. They wait for her until Life itself falls into eternal darkness,'" Vriska recites. "This prophecy is cool! Not as cool as mine, of course. Mine's got way more stuff about the apocalypse, but this one is still pretty awesome."

"Hemera," you say, trying out the name to see how it feels on your tongue. It's good to finally know the name of your denizen. You wonder what it will look like.

"Come on, let's team up and kick its ass!" You smile at Vriska's enthusiasm, and try to quell the feeling that if you hang around her long enough, you'll end up wrestling her into a very soft pile.

That was kind of a risqué thought, ugh. You still think you're too young to have a real love life, and Eridan has made you disinterested in actively pursuing any of your quadrants, but... Maybe after a couple of sweeps living in the new universe, you'll change your mind. It would suck pretty hard to not have any romance at all, forever.

You let Vriska drag you from the temple and allow her to fly you to the next quest on your mental checklist.

For now, adventure awaits!  38)

**Author's Note:**

> This was kind of rushed and un-beated, but I'd still like any feedback you guys are willing to give. Also, the title is from a Marina and the Diamonds song ([Hermit the Frog](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgiAribnCAM)). It's kind of cliche to use her lyrics for Vriska at this point, but this particular song actually gave me a very Feferi vibe. It's what I had in mind when writing this anyway.
> 
> I hope enjoyed reading this! Now I'm off to celebrate the New Year!! :D


End file.
